Imagine your reflection on the water.

swirling your finger round and round,

look at the funny faces you make.

Pick a flower.

Take it home..

Give it to your wife.

When you walk through the door

Instead of reaching for the remote..

why not reach for her

and after that..reach for your children..

or better yet..reach for them all at once.

When you go to bed tonight..

tuck your kids in tight before you turn out the light.

Then..

go back in time and revisit the feelings of the first time the two of you made love.

Remind yourself what it feels like to make love with meaning..

with intensity..with compassion..

Notice how much stronger the feelings are?

Stay up late talking,

Take a shower together,

snuggle closely in bed...

All things you can do free of charge to improve your home/love life.

It's just a suggestion....I dare you to try!

A person who shall remain nameless was quite the asshole this morning.  Throwing a fit because I wouldn't allow them to throw clothes from the dryer all over the kitchen table (after I just got through cleaning the house).  As they stomped away yelling fuck you, I'm sick of your whining.", that person who shall remain nameless slammed the door and hopped in a truck that should have been freezing cold, but I had already warmed it up for them. (it's very cold outside today)  Hmm wonder if he feels good about what he said and did now.  Oh well..Lesson learned..Think before you speak jerk wad!!  Maybe you should pay attention and learn to be more compassionate yourself.  Then maybe you wouldn't keep inserting your foot into your mouth..Hope he has a great day!

Love Always,

14u2nv

I have been granted permission to use the music of drextrovert (grrrr an ex b/f of mine lol) http://drextrovert.tblog.com" title="http://drextrovert.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://drextrovert.tblog.com  on my blog.  The music is from his old band (5 Factor Model)..but OMG that voice.. I'm really excited about this because I absolutely adore it.  Not to mention it just sparks a few good memories that I never want to loose..and makes me all tingly (by that I just mean i t makes me horny and stuff lol!)  I used to have the cd and well lets just say when the new b/f came along...well..the cd just suddenly disappeared..and I have missed it terribly since.  It was my favorite and I listened to it ALL THE TIME!  I hope you will also enjoy it..make sure to leave him lots of nice comments lol (help me "kiss his butt" for letting me use it) okay? Thanks!!

THANK YOU DREXTROVERT!!!

Love Always,

14u2nv

You make me sick

I can't trust one fucking word you say

You tell me you love me

then deceive me again

I think it's like masturbation to you

The more you hurt me

the more satisfied you become

unable to wait for the final release

Lets see just how far you can go

My friend holds on .

He keeps his chin up.

When things don't go right,

he just becomes cold to it.

I wish so bad that I could do that.

My only advice is..Make sure

not to find the numbness

by covering it with someone new.

Don't use someone as a "band-aid".

If you use someone in that way,

you're wounds will only

become larger and spread

it's germs and infections to

the person trying to help you.

Alas another broken relationship.

I don't wish this for you.

Spend some time alone..

Give yourself time to heal..

then move on and be happy once again.

Sorrow finds its way into your heart
when you least expect it.  It filters
through every vein in your body and
seeps out through every pore in your
skin..Though you may try to hide it,
sorrow refuses to lie dormant and unnoticed.
A single word can wake it from an unrestful sleep,
even a scent or a particular feeling can sometimes
bring the sorrow back to you. 

These are the times I wish to be with you.
I wish to lay with you and hold you tight.
These are the times I want to tell you how special
you are.  These are the times I want to wipe away
your tears and make everything better.
These are the times I want to call you and tell you
a funny joke or bring you a teddy bear and give you
great big hugs.  These are the times I want to be
there for you...if only to say..."You know what??"
"I care." :)

One day (not too long ago) being my normal goofy self, I drove right by my sister and gave her the bird (my usual sisterly guesture, along with the other gesture shown below..)..How was I to know she had a camera w/ a zoom lens lol..here's the outcome of that..My crazy sissy lol !  She couldda at least done it when I had my contacts in..geeze.

Now if that wasn't enough humiliation..her b/f took it a step further..he decided to manipulate the pic in photoshop (it's kinda dark..so i'm not sure if you can see it - as my moniter settings are way fucked):

Anyways..screw them both (just kidding I love my sissy) lol..Here's a pic I took of her..the larger versions are on her deviant account..which by the way we both have deviant art accounts.. (only I'm not allowed to use mine anymore..I had to take all my stuff down..damn Steve)

Yep..that's my sissy!

We kinda went though this black and white photo phase lol..

Anyways..Maybe in February I'll start revamping my deviant page..

Watch for me..I'm "PiXiEsLuT"

and there are links on my page to her accounts as well.

Night Night all :)

Wtf are these meds doing to me ???

I was talking to nullfactor this morning and I told him about this wierd dream I had.  We both thought it would be quite interesting to see what other people might think this dream means..I mean they all have some sort of meaning right?

The dream goes like this:  Some old man kept running into me on purpose (faking to be blind) and he would then proceed to squeeze my ass..and it just kept happening over and over in different places and I tried to tell someone but no one would believe me.

Anyways wtf is that supposed to mean huh?

Much Like Heaven

by 14u2nv

It is but a dream I speak of.

You may see it as intangible hope.

I see it as something to live for.

I employ it as my rope.

I climb my way to safety,

though much suffering I bear.

To find my way to it’s light.

To gaze upon it’s stare.

For I have been forsaken.

I have been misled.

Through angry lifeless hands,

my heart was often fed.

I found myself abandoned.

A curse given to me at birth.

It made me so much stronger.

It made me understand what love is worth.

But I had to travel down this path,

to understand the things that I hold dear.

I had to tread this lonely path,

to overcome my fear.

I no longer fear the evil

of hearts that don’t know or understand love.

Some day, Some how ..

I’ll smile again..I know I’ll rise above.

Because I am unrelenting.

I’ll not fall prey to disbelief.

I will not be covered in lies.

I’ll will not accept their grief.

Someday I’ll find that world,

that world that was made for me.

So don’t cry for my misfortune,

for it is my destiny.

Can you imagine how much stronger,

how much more special it will feel,

when I can place my heart into

a love that is for real?

My guess would be, Much like heaven

And I’ll not rest till I enter those beautiful gates :)